The loss of a child is something that no parent should have to endure. But a group of women in North Carolina and Virginia know first- hand how painful this experience can be. The bereaved mothers are sharing their journey of loss and healing in a new book titled “Farther Along”.
Ten years ago a dozen silent, withdrawn women from around North Carolina and Virginia, gathered around a conference table in a chilly meeting room at Salem College. Most of the women did not know each other; they seemed to have little in common. However they shared one stark personal factor, and it had brought them to the room that day: Each had lost a child.
The group included friends Kathy Shoaf of Winston-Salem and Beverly Burton of China Grove, NC. They lost their teenaged children on Good Friday, in 2002.
“My son Ryan died in a car accident along with Beverly’s two boys Wes and Andy and my other son Wesley was driving the car and so I had terrible guilt,” said Shoaf.
“I was searching for anything to find peace to deal with the grief that was thrown at us so suddenly,” said Burton.
Shoaf and Burton had shown up for Carol Henderson’s one-day workshop, “Writing toward Healing.” They have been meeting and writing together ever since. The group of women are sharing their experiences in a new book titled, “Farther Along: The Writing Journey of Thirteen Bereaved Mothers.”
Henderson of Chapel Hill is the lead author. She lost her 7-week old son Malcolm in 1982 due to a heart defect. She began writing about her experience as a way to cope with the tragic loss.
“What is the most stunning part of it for me is this section called Snapshots where I introduce each women and a little bit about her story and her child and excerpts of her writing over this 10 year period and then there is a section where I show the reader how one can set up a workshop like the one that I offered that day,” said Carol Henderson.
The book focuses on more than just the tragic experiences that brought these women together. It also contains funny and thought provoking stories including how one mother finds ironing clothes therapeutic and how a child’s toy basketball becomes a symbol of hope for those on and off the court.
For Dottye Currin of Westfield, her son Alex’s suicide has been tough on her family. Writing about her grief has given her confidence, peace and inspiration. She said the experience has been transformative.
“The writing has helped me to learn about myself, to meet myself. Now when I read some of the things that I have written, it is almost as if someone else had written it, but it resonates with me. It just illustrates to me how powerful writing has for people dealing with grief or anything for that matter,” said Currin.
The women are encouraging anyone who has experience a loss in their life to put their thoughts on paper. They plan to continue spreading that message in their communities.
Meanwhile, the women are celebrating ten years unity and friendship by taking a special trip to France in September. Their book Farther Along: The writing Journey of Thirteen Bereaved Mothers is published by Willowdell Books.
All of the proceeds from the sales of the book are being donated to SECU House in Winston-Salem. The facility serves as a respite for dozens of families and their caregivers, as their loved ones seek treatment at medical facilities in the Triad. The center is funded by donations from local foundations, organizations and other community members.
More information about the book can be found at this blog site: www.fartheralongbook.com .
Upcoming events for Farther Along are listed at http://fartheralongbook.com/more-about-the-book/.
